whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
