I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
