there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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