i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize