Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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