she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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