he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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