thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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