You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
