1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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