Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
