I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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