wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
