Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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