Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize