How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
