We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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