i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
