Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
