just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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