I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
should my penis look like a turkey
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
