Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
