Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
