I don't think brook has ever known best
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Found the puke drawer
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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