Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just want nice things and good sex
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
