So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize