Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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