So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
