The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
