a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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