The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize