Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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