i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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