I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
