I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
