I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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