im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
