walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
