I'm lost and stupid without you.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
please don't ironically join a cult
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