you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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