Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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