haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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