We're facebook friends in real life
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
