question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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