Are we in a gay sports bar?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
