Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
