My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
