Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
