I want to make a zoo with you.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
