just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
