thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
