This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
