Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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