She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
