it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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