allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
