HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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