Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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