i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
