i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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