Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
