Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
