I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
