I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
