dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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